Bus jokes
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A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.
Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again.
Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late.
Teacher: Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier one.
How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar?
Throw it under a bus.
Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York?
Driver: Which part?
Passenger: All of me, of course!
As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What on earth did you do that for?' 'I wanted to know if there was room on top,' replied the man.
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